The three most significant reasons people fight and separate are money issues, child rearing differences, and cheating. Divorce attorneys will tell you that these concerns are the ones that crop up the most in divorce proceedings. However, these are not the only ones that come up. Here are warning signs that a relationship is on the decline and are often contributors to people wanting a divorce.

There Aren’t Any Serious Arguments

It appears counterintuitive to look for arguments as a sign of relationship health. However, the willingness to express disappointment or frustration shows an investment in the outcome of a relationship. Conversely, not caring enough to argue might mean one or both spouses has “checked out” of the relationship or have drifted apart.

In some cases, the lack of interest in the relationship can resolve in an amicable divorce where both parties can split with mutual respect. In these instances, mediation is preferable to litigation. The former is less stressful, takes up less time, and does not cost as much as taking the separation to court.

The In-Laws Dominate the Relationship

People often say that they don’t marry only their significant other; they also marry their loved one’s family. Parents-in-law get a bad rap in popular culture, but most of them aren’t trying to be villainous. However, some parents feel the need to comment on and intervene in their married children’s lives, creating rifts between couples. In some situations, ill feelings toward former in-laws can even continue into issues during or after the divorce. 

There Is Resentment Between the Couple

Couples who do not have healthy conversations about the past might not find it easy to navigate the present. If you or your spouse brings up past mistakes, it can damage your ability to work on the present. Resentments can also lead to complicated divorces. People might “work through” their issues by refusing to agree or compromise with their former partner.

Partners Neglect to Cultivate the Relationship

Truly connecting with your partner involves nurturing the feelings you have for each other. Suppose both spouses don’t talk about their days to each other or connect in meaningful ways. In that case, they will find themselves “there but not there,” physically present for each other but mentally and emotionally absent.

An emotional disconnect like this can lead to divorce, so it is necessary to compromise and communicate while it is happening. In situations like these, both parties are at fault. If they recognize that reality, they will find it easy to work with each other’s divorce attorneys through custody, alimony, and asset division issues.

The Spouses Are Too Different From Each Other

Often, people experience attraction to people who complement their personality. If you are an extrovert, for example, you might find the shy or silent types intriguing. A laid-back person might enjoy the energy and direction an organized one brings. However, these same differences can cause strife in the relationship, especially if they do not know how to balance their dynamic.

The Partners Do Not Know How to Ask for Space

Before people become couples, they are individuals with unique personalities and preferences. Spouses shouldn’t be with their partners 24/7, even after marriage. However, they should know how to manage time apart. Too much time apart is as damaging as too much time together; partners who can’t manage the distance suffer.


Marriage is only the start of a relationship. People who do not work on their issues, whether together or separately, will find it challenging to deal with the complex dynamics of marriage. In some instances, the differences are so distinct that there is no choice for the couple but separate.

Hire Bruno and Ferraro for your legal representation in divorce and separation proceedings. Our firm has some of the top divorce attorneys in New Jersey, and we create customized legal strategies fit for our clients’ unique circumstances. We serve Newark, Bergen County, Rutherford, and Central NJ; contact us today for more information.